Taughannock Falls

Taughannock Falls
from: althouse.blogspot.com

Monday, April 18, 2011

Republican Arizona Senator Jon Kyl gives Monty Python a run for their money



Some of my younger friends like to use the phrase "jumping the shark." Apparently it goes back to the moment in Happy Days where the "Fonz" jumps over a shark, while on water-skis. Pop-culture critics saw this moment as the clear beginning of the end for the T.V. show. In any case, the recent admission by Senator Kyl that he lives outside the reality-based world may come to be regarded as the moment the national GOP "jumped the shark," in the absurdist farce we call U.S. politics. Here's what happened:

It was a remark seemingly made for late-night TV comics: Sen. Jon Kyl's claim that abortion is "well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does."

When the actual figure turned out to be 3 percent, his office released a statement clarifying that Kyl's figure was "not intended to be a factual statement."

Enter Stephen Colbert. The Comedy Central host lampooned the line on last night's show… but it turns out he was just getting started.

Colbert, tweeting as @StephenAtHome, began posting some not-so-factual statements about Kyl, beginning with "Jon Kyl is one of Gaddafi's sexy female ninja guards #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement." Since then, he's launched more than 30 such broadsides, all bearing that exculpatory hashtag, including:

  • Jon Kyl is an accomplished nude hula dancer. He is not welcome in Hawaii. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

  • For the past ten years, Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

  • Jon Kyl cheated on Sandra Bullock. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

  • Once a year, Jon Kyl retreats to the Arizona Desert and deposits 2 million egg sacs under the sand. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

  • Citing religious reasons, Jon Kyl refuses to utter the number 8. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

  • Jon Kyl once ate a badger he hit with his car. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

  • Carly Simon wrote that song about Jon Kyl. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

  • Legally, Jon Kyl cannot be within 100 yards of Helen Mirren. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

  • Jon Kyl has a shrine to Scooter from the Muppet Show. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

  • Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

  • Jon Kyl was sent from the future to kill Sarah Conner. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

5 comments:

tbelwin68 said...

I don't care what anybody says, Ulysses, the Fonz can do no wrong!

Cletis L. Stump said...

Jon Kyl was sent to earth to make John McCain look sane. #IntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Ulysses said...

Thanks, Cletis! That's my favorite tweet so far, since it is a genuine factual statement.

Motivated In Ohio said...

I love this story... It is a comment, that just keeps on giving.

Consultoria por internet said...

Fantastic job right here.