Guns don't kill people, people with guns do

Jack Stuef explains how

the Arizona Citizens Defense League, a gun-rights group, has written up legislation to end assassination attempts directed at legislators: make “members of Congress and people who work for them” from Arizona undergo “firearms training, using firearms confiscated by the state.” Sounds like fun! Thank God the fine assault weapons owners of Arizona have found a way to let crazed 22-year-olds shoot at people with their assault weapons in peace, as the founders intended. Never mind that this would never actually work or be useful or constitutional. The important thing is that we can blame future shooting deaths on members of Congress and their staffs not being good with guns, not on our gun laws.

“Our model legislation is called the Giffords-Zimmerman Act,” said Heller. (Giffords staffer Gabriel Zimmerman, 30, was killed on Saturday.) [...]

Heller speculated that a response like this could prevent future attacks on members of Congress. “I don’t think having a firearm on her would do Congresswoman Giffords any good,” said Heller. “However, if it was known that members of her staff were well armed, that very well could have dissuaded [the shooter].”

Ooh, yes, dissuaded. You can’t dissuade a crazy person with a gun, idiots. Or at least you can’t WHEN THAT CRAZY PERSON HAS SMOKED POT BEFORE.

This gun rights group loves the fact that they can conceal their weapons, of course. Just like people who go on shooting sprees! And that is why no staffer with a gun would have had the time to be able to stop this guy before he killed people. As much as it warms the hearts of this group to imagine every man, woman, and child in Arizona being taught how to shoot guns at people.

But again, perfect way to move the blame away from gun laws. “That staffer was too much of a pussy to kill the guy as soon as she saw someone shifty-looking” is the talking point, which requires you to shoot some chew into the spittoon after you say it.

This exact same insanity was proposed after the horrific college campus shooting a while back. The solution to gun violence is to have a lot more guns. If all the students and professors are packing heat, the theory goes, they can react quickly to any potential shooting spree and pump the assailant full of lead before any harm is done. Just don't reach too quickly for that calculator in your backpack! Of course this policy needs some tweaking to be implemented correctly. Most 4 or 5 year-olds have difficulty firing automatic weapons responsibly. How are they going to protect themselves at the playground?